Fire and Ice
by Bellacullen1901
Summary: Edward's POV of Chapter 22 in Eclipse. Split into two chapters. Rated M for Language.
1. Part 1

This is Edward's POV for the chapter from Eclipse- Fire and Ice. I had written this right after Eclipse was released and just finally put it up. But since it is close to 7,000 words, I split it into chapters. Will post the other one later tonight or tomorrow.

Edward's POV

The wind shook the tent again and in response my angel shivered uncontrollably once again. She was huddled in the jacket and a down bag, clutching at the sides so the fabric was strained. Situated across the tent from me, her teeth chattered loudly. The last thing I wanted to do was to increase her shivering from the temperature of_ my_ skin.

I wanted to help her ever so badly, but I would only make it worse. I wanted to take her into my arms and cuddle her till she was warm again. But I could do no such thing, so I sat as far away from her as possible and tried to think of something to keep my mind busying and at the same time find a solution to her suffering. I had suggested making a run for it dozens of times already, but she refused every one of them.

We both knew that it would only make things possibly worse. For one thing, it was even colder outside of the tent with the wind howling and the snow blowing, then inside where she was burrowed in the coat and blankets. Plus, the chance of coming across the vampires that we would be taking down tomorrow was too much of a risk to bare. Since the wolves were helping us tomorrow, Alice had no exact guarantee of where they were located.

Lastly, everything we did this afternoon would be a wasted effort. I suspected that that was the reason she continuously refused the opportunity. We probably wouldn't have enough time to redo our plans before the battle and the risk was too great.

"W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?" she managed to get out through her chattering teeth.

"Two," I simply answered.

I wanted to bring relief to her discomfort so much. With my luck, she would get terribly sick after this little trip, but she would be safe and to me that was the most important.

"Maybe…" I started again. We should leave, but only if she asked me to, I wasn't forcing her unless we must.

"No…I'm f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-really, I don't w-w-w-want to g-g-go outside," She trembled.

Oh, she looked fine right now. I rolled my eyes as another tremble rocked through her spine. She was so stubborn and unselfish. I wanted to voice my thoughts, but I didn't think she would appreciate them right now. Grounding my teeth together, I asked her what I could possibly to do help, if anything.

My mind and body was overwhelmed with some many emotions. Guilt, that this was my idea and as I sat comfortably, except with for the aspect of her suffering, she was the complete opposite. Frustration, that I could do nothing, nor would she let me. Selfishness, that this was what it came down to. Happiness, even at this time as she lay wallowing in the coldness of the winter weather, she was safe. Maybe not in my arms, but in sight.

She just shook her head, to cold to even talk to answer my question. Out in the snow, the dog whined at me, wanting me to help Bella in a way that was not possible.

"_Do something you idiot!! She is going to die or at least lose a few toes if you don't think of a solution. And it's not like I can just walk in there like this and help her. I am doing one of the things I do best, being a watch dog, communicating, helping. What are you doing to help?" _

I ignored his thoughts to the best of my ability, but although I would never admit it, they nagged me incessantly. I didn't need more guilt to add onto the overpoweringly amount already. I couldn't help her this time. The desire to take her into my arms seemed to become a constant ache, but it wouldn't do any good.

Although, it could calm and comfort her for a minute, the frigid temperatures of my body would just add onto her shivering.

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-here!" Bella ordered her friend. Somehow, even when freezing to death she could still worry about that mongrel.

"He's just worried about you." I whispered. For heaven's sake, he wasn't even cold; he was just worried about her.

"He's fine," my hand reached out to her, only to be snapped back into place by my side._ "His_ body is equipped to deal with this." I added.

"H-h-h-h-h-h-h." she had started to say something but either thought better of it or couldn't even get it out. Her teeth chattered and she shivered uncontrollably for the thousandth time.

I pleaded her with my eyes again; she just shook her head and looked downward. At our silent exchange, the dog whimpered annoyingly outside.

"_You say that you love her, more than I ever could, but there you sit, doing nothing to help her. She freezing to the point she can't even speak! Can't you see she is suffering? Do something!!"  
_

"What do you want me to do?" I growled back. I didn't even add any politeness that I had been trying to give to him lately, especially in front of Bella. "Carry her through _that? _I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"

The only response I got was a rumbling growl, then silence.

My Bella whimpered in the corner. Whether it was another shock of cold or in response to her incompetent and rather infuriating friend, I was unsure.

"I'm ok-k-k-k-k-k-kay," she protested back. I groaned back, unconvinced.

"Hardly," I mumbled under my breath, doubting that her ears picked up the words. Jacob too grumbled outside the tent, not swayed by her protest.

The tent rocked harder with the wind blowing roughly outside. She trembled with it. The impertinent dog howled loudly outside, scaring Bella even worse. Grounding my teeth, I ducked my head into my hands, calming myself. While taking deep, unnecessary breaths, I told myself it was not the time or place to go knock some sense into him or maybe something harder.

"That's hardly necessary." I muttered back to him.

Despite my trying to block his thoughts from my head, what he suggested next my full attention. He expected me to just let him in here, into this compact tent, that contained an already perturbed vampire. What an outrageous idea! He could lose control any second, with both of us in here, Bella wouldn't survive it.

"And that's the worst idea I've ever heard," I voiced my thoughts aloud. I knew he could respond back now, out loud unfortunately.

"Better then anything you've come up with." I saw Bella jump ever so lightly, his human voice startling her. "_Go fetch a space heater_," he grumbled mockingly under his breath "I'm not a St. Bernard."

He unzipped the tent, to the smallest, possible opening for him to climb in, despite my concerns. The artic wind flowed in around him and a few flacks landing amongst the tent floor. Bella shivered so hard, it was more like a convulsion.

"I don't like this," I hissed at him as he zipped it back up and stood at the front of the opening, holding a parka in a balled up fist. Shifting from foot to foot, his thoughts complained about the horrid smell. When he saw Bella they quickly turned to blaming me for letting her suffering go this far.

"Just give her the coat and get out," I commanded, already worrying about him losing control around my precious, yet freezing Bella.

Bella's face portrayed her thoughts, as she tried to figure out the other side of our conversation. "W-w-w-w-w-w-w?" she couldn't get the hole word out of her lips.

"The parka's for tomorrow-- she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen." He dropped it by the door. "You said she needed a space heater, and here I am." The pup held his arms open wide or as wide as the tent would allow.

A deep growl threatened to make its way out of my throat. Already being closer than I wished for him to be, I would not allow him to push the limits by crawling in next to her, even if the reason was to keep her warm.

The fantasies of being so close to her in an enclosed space raged through his mind and I desperately wanted to pounce on the dog.

"J-J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze." Bella complained in the corner. She was still shivering uncontrollably. For a brief moment I considered letting the dog comfort her.

Fuck no! He was not getting any damn closer.

"Not me, I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time."

The growl grew deeper in my throat and I couldn't hold it back. The dog didn't even take notice. Instead he inched closer to my Bella and unzipped the sleeping bag. There was no fucking way he was going to crawl into the sleeping bag, wrap his arms around her, and warm her up. Especially with those type of thoughts floating around his head. Being a teenage boy gives him no reason.

I would not allow it.

I reached forward and placed a firm hand on the vile mongrel's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. His nostrils flared, jaw clenched, a deep rumble registering in his chest. He was ready to fight back; I would push him out of the tent before he even considered phasing.

"Get your hands off me!" he growled at me through his clenched teeth. His thoughts trying to figure out the best way to prepare to defend himself.

"Keep your hands off her."

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight!" Bella interrupted our hatred stares at one another. Another tremor rocked through her.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," the dog snapped back. I tightened my hold on his shoulder, to the point where my knuckles turned even whiter.

Knowing that I could never live with myself if Bella was harmed and I had something to do with it, I dropped my hand from Jacob's shoulder and slouched back into the corner.

His thoughts disturbed me immensely.

_He_ was going to get to wrap his warm arms around her soft body. _He _would be able to mold against her body to feel her curves. _His_ lips would be close to hers, close enough to touch, to push her limits in front of me. _He_ would be able to touch her warm flesh, to comfort, to do what I could not.

And it all revolted me significantly.

"Watch yourself!" I warned the mutt in my darkest voice. He merely chuckled to himself. He took pleasure in the fact that it displeased me greatly.

"Scoot over, Bella." The mutt unzipped the sleeping bag with a huge, smug grin spread across his face.

It took a moment for Bella to realize what Black was doing. Then as it came to her, almost like a light bulb flicking on in her head, she started to protest.

"N-n-n-n-n," she objected.

"Don't be stupid. Don't you like having ten toes?" The mutt teased her. I could see indecision flicker across her face. She didn't seem to want to be any closer to this dog, than I wanted her too, and that pleased me, eased the tension for a brief second. But at the same time the thought of the oncoming warmth from his body made her eager.

Jacob crammed his way in to the nonexistent space. Thinking all the while how well his body fit with hers and how her soft hands fluttered over his chest, giving him shivers. Scowling, I held back the very tempting idea to rip him to pieces for being so damn close to Bella.

The moment Bella touched his feverish skin, she relaxed and signed in contentment. His arms constricted around her, holding her to his bare chest. He cringed from the coldness of her skin when pressed up against him.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella!" he complained out loud and in his thoughts, only his words out loud were somewhat more polite than the ones spoke in his childish yet zealous head.

"S-s-s-s-sorry." She stuttered. Her shivers were dieing down, becoming more controlled, and for that I was thankful for.

"Try to relax." Another shiver rippled through her, but she still was improving. "You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took off your clothes." He smiled eagerly in his thoughts and I growled at him, warning him to keep _those _thoughts to himself.

"That's just a simple fact, survival one-oh-one." He defended himself. Although he was correct, he wasn't joking. He made that clear through his mind, which he knew I was listening to intently. Even though I tried to cut it off, it was hard to stop when they were about _my_ Bella.

"C-c-cut it out, Jake! N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes." I could tell she tried to pull away form him, but it was hard to resist his heated body with the arctic wind blowing fiercely outside.

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker. He's just jealous." He smiled to me, knowing he hit a spot with his words or more the truth that he so eagerly wished to get out of me.

"Of course I am." I replied to his question that he desired to be answered. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks. At least you know she wishes it was you." When he put it that way… it did help. Knowing that Bella wished that it was me that she could cuddle up to keep her warm, helped immensely actually. But it wasn't me, not now anyway.

"True." I answered simply. Bella was getting close to unconsciousness with the shudders more under control. She was warm in the arms of my enemy.

"There, feeling better?" his pleasure, to help her in such a physical way, beamed out from his face and leaked into his words.

"Yes." She spoke clearly for the first time tonight.

"Your lips are still blue. Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask." He smiled zealously as he teased her, though he deeply wished that she would say yes. I just signed heavily, laughing at his futile attempts in my head.

"Behave yourself," Bella muttered to him as she pressed her face into his bare shoulder. He cringed at the coldness and I think I saw Bella smile in satisfaction. That's my girl.

I heard a scuffle of feet and I realized that Bella was kicking off her boots. She pressed her close to frost bit feet against his warm legs, under the sleeping bag. He scowled again, then leaned in and pressed his head against her numb ear. I watched his every move with jealously and wrath. But I was relived that Bella was warm and I mainly tried to focus on that idea.

It was silent for the moment, expect for the howling wind and Jacob's thoughts that ran through my head. Oh do I wish he could control them. They were tempting my self control.

"Jake? Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, I'm honestly curious." They both chuckled at a private joke. All I caught was that those were the same words used in another conversation.

"Sure." Jacobs sighed remembering.

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

"Because my hair is longer." He gave her the simple answer. He leaned down and tickled her with his hair that fell past his chin. I gagged.

"Oh. Then why don't you cut it? Or do you like to be shaggy?" she pressed on.

I laughed out loud and Bella turned her head towards me, wondering my reason. She seemed guilty as she snooped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me." ducking her face in abashment, she tried to hide against his chest.

"Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well… I was growing my hair out because… it seemed like you liked it better long." I waited out Bella's reaction. He was right though, if Bella had questioned me about it, I would have given her the answer. Plus, it amused me too much to deny her.

"Oh, I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be… inconvenienced."

He shrugged. "Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it."

Bella slowly started to relax further in his arms as the silence lengthened. Her eye lids dropped and then shut as her breathing became slower and even.

"That's right honey, go to sleep." She sighed, already half unconscious. This was one moment that I do wish to read her thoughts. To see if it is me who she wishes had their arms around her. I could never be sure and I did fear that she wanted to be with Jacob more than she realized.

Which brought on the whole other fight of who was right for her. Of course she was better off with that wolf, but it is not him who she wishes to be with. So where does that leave my decision. What position should I choose? I wanted to stay with her, but I was not healthy for her.

I would not let my self press this issue further, at least not tonight. She has chosen me; she has chosen to be married to me and to be with me for eternity. I should not worry, but when your fiancée is also best friends with your enemy, even the most secure man would question it.


	2. Part 2

_Okay, here is part two, just as I promised. Thank you all so much for your reviews from yesterday. And just to those of you who read Falling In Love Back Then, be looking for an update by tomorrow night. Thanks again!!_

* * *

_**Edward's POV--Part Two**_

"Seth is here." I mumbled. His thoughts were recognizable as he neared. He was too bummed about not being involved in the fight tomorrow, because Sam thought he was too young.

"Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything, while I take care of your girlfriend for you." I took that one, without complaining, mostly because it was true.

"Stop it." Bella murmured groggily. She was already half asleep, but somehow still able to discipline our fighting.

It was quiet for now. Although Jacob pondered several things, mostly little desires and daydreams that I dearly wish he would not think about now, or ever actually. Especially, because, they were about my fiancée.

It seemed Bella was fully asleep, but her regulated breathing didn't really fool me. I knew she could most likely still hear us, but I didn't really care. I tried to keep quiet, relax now that Bella was warm, but Jacob thoughts became too much to hear.

How could he think such inappropriate thoughts about my future wife, while I sat less then three feet from him.

"_Please_! Do you _mind_!" I hissed at him.

"What?" the mutt whispered back, acting all innocent, even in his mind.

"Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?" I tried to ask politely, but it failed slightly.

"No one said you had to listen. Get out of my head!" he was faintly embarrassed, but to some extent, smug too.

"I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down." Or off, I wanted to reply.

There was a moment of silence as Jacob spoke through my head. "_You do realize that I'm better for her. That she loves me too and I love her, just as much as you do? Doesn't that make you jealous? To know that she doesn't just have a connection with you, but with me too?"_

"Yes. I'm jealous of that too."

"I figured it was like that. Sort of evens up the playing field, doesn't it?" Smug again.

I chuckled at him. "In your dreams."

"You know, she could still change her mind. Considering all the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is." He taunted me as his thoughts pictured many of his words. I growled, deep in my throat.

"Go to sleep, Jacob. You're starting to get on my nerves."

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable."

There was another minute of silence and I thought maybe he was being considerate and going to shut up. But them he started to ramble again about how beautiful she was and how soft her skin felt on his bare chest. And how he would love if she was a bit more undressed. Damn it! Does he ever shut up? I wanted to ring his neck. Does he realize that my self control is not that decent around werewolves?

_You know it's not fair that you can just pick out of my head without my permission. I want to know what you are thinking. Would you tell me if I asked? Or would you just give me a response to whatever came to your head first? Could you actually be honest with me? Would you? Huh?_

"Maybe I would." I was curious to what questions he had to ask me. Would I actually be able to answer his questions?

"But would you be honest?"

"You can always ask and see." I wasn't guaranteeing that I would be honest with him. I learned that from Bella. Don't promise that you'll be honest if you don't know that question yet. It always ends badly. I wasn't starting _that_ with the wolf.

"Well, you see inside my head-- let me see inside yours tonight, it's only fair."

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?" it was a very long list. This should be interesting.

I knew before he even spoke or thought with one he would ask first. It had been nagging him all night. "The jealousy… it has to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

I ignored the last part and focused on answering honestly. Bella would be pleased with me for being polite. If only she was awake right now. Although it would probably be best if she didn't hear our conversation.

"Of course it is, right now it's so bad that I can barley control my voice. Of course it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her." Answering the next question that popped into his head.

"Do you think about it all the time? Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?"

"Yes and no, my mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means I'm _always_ able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful."

"_Does she think of me often or speak of me with you?" _I cringed, but I continued anyway.

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often. More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't use that." It hurt deeply to admit this, my insecurities, to all of people, a werewolf. It felt like someone was using a knife and slowly cutting open wounds that had healed shortly ago.

"I have to use whatever I can. I'm not working with your advantages- advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

"That helps." I agreed in a mild tone, smiling myself. It seemed that Bella spoke of her love for me to Jacob at least.

"She's in love with me, too, you know." I didn't answer, knowing that my voice would probably ruin my calmness I had pretended to fictionalize on my face as he spoke those words that would normally make me rethink everything that I knew was true.

What made it worse was that I did know that she had feelings for Jacob. I could see it in her eyes or her smile when she would look at him. Even if she didn't realize it. But she loved me too, and she loved me more.

"But she doesn't know it." He spoke with sadness. He was angry at her for not admitting it. And maybe she was aware of her feelings and just chose to deny them. I would not tell him that though, it would only encourage him, provided him with more knowledge to fight with.

"I can't tell you if you're right." I simply responded.

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

I thought that through carefully. "Yes… and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometime drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy." It was true when I put it like that. It actually felt good to put this into words and say it out loud. Even though it was to a vile smelling werewolf, he could understand where I was coming from, to an extent anyway.

The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake. Jacob's arms tightened around my Bella, protecting her from the chilling wind. I had to admit, it comforted me, knowing she was warm.

"Thank you. Odd as this might sound; I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

"You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?" I chuckled quietly.

"I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am." He was self-satisfied again as he whispered the words.

"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know."

"You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for _her_." I nudged my hand towards Bella.

"So… at what point did you decide to play the very patient guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the… less civilized feelings I may have for you fairy easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

I looked towards her now. I was pretty sure she was listening intently right now. The way her breathing was controlled, it seemed too controlled for her to be _completely_ asleep. Not to mention that she had not moved once since Jacob and I have began talking. Even if she was listening, she probably would just think it was a dream. Never believing that we could be this civilized, to talk amongst our selves, when nobody was here to supervise.

"I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might now choose you." His voice pulled me back to reality. I had got lost in Bella's face. She created this world that I could easily slip into when I was with her. And she said I dazzled her.

"That was part of it." I admitted reluctantly. "But only a small part. We all have our moments our doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I had accepted that she was more or less safe with you- as safe as Bella ever is," I clarified, because Bella was never very safe from herself. "It seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

He sighed. "I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me." I smiled to myself, knowing that my stubborn Bella would not believe it, just as I thought.

"I know."

"You know everything." He muttered, disappointed.

"I don't know the future." Only my annoying, loving sister could and even you blind her. I thought to myself.

It was silent for a moment, even his thoughts were controlled. The only sound was Bella congruous breathing. The wind had calmed somewhat or at least compared to earlier.

"What would you do if she changed her mind?" This brought the stabbing pain back to me, even to think about it. I tried to keep my voice as even as possible.

"I don't know either." I didn't feel like going into details, not with that question, anyway.

He chuckled quietly. "Would you try to kill me?" He was sarcastic. It was a very tempting idea, but I knew my answer.

"No."

"Why not?" He asked surprised, doubting the truth.

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?"

"Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But sometimes…." He trailed off. He sounded relieved, like he knew Bella was keeping me from killing him and the same for him, too.

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea." I finished his sentence, knowing it was exactly what he would have spoken. He pressed his face into the sleeping bag to muffle his laughter. I too covered my mouth to hold in my chuckles.

"Exactly." He eventually agreed, once he controlled his laughter.

"What was it like? Losing her?" His voice was serious, all humor gone with the wind. "When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you…cope?" I tried to kill myself you idiot. I held that in and tried to steady my voice. It was hard, with a question like that. It hurt to think of our time of separation.

"That's very difficult for me to talk about." He waited for me to continue.

"There were two different times that I thought that. The first time, when I thought I could leave her… that was… almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I thought I wouldn't interfere again. It was getting close- I was fighting but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back…. Just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself, anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy… I like to think that I could have gone away again.

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me… what she was feeling the needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left- what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing it up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make that up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

He took time to digest that for a moment. "And the other time- when you thought she was dead?" he whispered.

"Yes." I answered the first question, but he asked another through my mind.

"_So do you think it will feel that way to me…when she becomes a vampire? The way you felt when you lost her, will I feel the same way?"_

"It will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as _Bella_ anymore. But that's who she'll be." She always will be, I had no doubt in that.

"That's not what I asked." I had tried to change the subject with the question he had asked through my head, but he still wanted the answer to the first, which I had neglected to give.

"I can't tell you how I felt. There aren't words."

"But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You want her to be _human_." He emphasized the word human. I just wanted to make this very clear, which means I would have to start from the beginning.

"Jacob, from the second I realized loved her; I knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't feel as strongly for me- if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a… living stone- hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is vary rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back…" His thoughts went straight to imprinting and it seemed they both worked in the same way, to a level anyway. They were different in many ways, like how vampires and werewolves are different, but they still worked in a familiar way.

"The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone that couldn't be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years- it would seem like a very short time to me… but then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us… waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn't get those sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into alternative number one. It didn't work, and it nearly killed us both.

"What do I have left but the fourth option? It's what she wants- at least, she thinks she does. I've trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's very… stubborn. You know that. I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September…" I could swear I heard a low rumble coming from Bella.

"I like option one." Jacob muttered. I stayed silent, knowing there was more coming.

"You know exactly how much I hate to accept this, but I can see that you do love her… in your own way. I can't argue with that anymore.

"Given that, I don't think you should up on the first alternative, yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off that cliff in March… and if you'd waited another six months to check on her… well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

I saw his plan in his mind. Bella finally giving into his ideas. Them kissing. Him holding her while she cried her self to sleep. Them holding hands as they walked down the beach. I cringed at what could have been. But I still chuckled; I knew he was right in the long run… maybe.

"Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought out plan."

"Yeah," he signed and then his words started coming out faster and he whispered them even softer. "But… give me a year, bl- Edward." He caught himself on using his favorite nickname for me. Instead, trying to respect me more, I believe, he spoke my real name for once.

"I really think I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renée, and she could grow up, and have kids and… be Bella

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish… are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

If he only knew how many times I had deliberated it. I knew it deep down, but that didn't mean that I would let her go. I was selfish, whether Bella believed it or not. I was incredibly selfish. I wanted, needed, her.

"I have considered it. In some way, you could be better suited for her than any other human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You have done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live-forever- which ever comes first…

"I even asked Alice if she could see that- see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't of course. She can't see you and then Bella's sure of her course, for now.

"But I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won't try to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here." It took a lot of breath to say that, to get it out.

"And what if she were to decide that she wanted me? Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that."

"I would let her go."

"Just like that?"

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, you might leave her someday." And a part of me would probably always hope for that. "Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen." He snorted at the truth.

I could tell he didn't seem to accept everything, but it was the truth. He just didn't want to believe it.

"Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect… Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head." He offered me a friendly smile.

"As I said, I'm oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do… you know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

He chuckled quietly in his head. And I mentally smacked myself for being so honest. I never thought I would admit it, but it was all too true.

"Maybe… if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck the life out of the girl I love… well, no, not even then." But in his head he did admit that I wasn't so bad. He knew I would take care of Bella. Apparently he had trouble saying this out loud or something.

I chuckled for a moment, but stopped when I remember something that I needed to know from Jacob.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked him politely.

"Why do you have to ask?"

"I can only hear it if you think it. It's just story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about the third wife…?"

"What about it?" he answered out loud, but went quickly through the legend that was told the other night at the bonfire, in his head. And it all came clear and I mentally hit myself for not realizing it quicker. Of course Bella would take recognization with that role. I released a low hiss out of habit.

"What?" Jacob demanded again.

"Of course… Of course! I rather wish your elders would have kept that story to themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys? You know they _are_. Then _and_ now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can't you guess which character Bella would identify with?" It took him a minute, going through every aspect in his head. It was quite entertaining as he put it all together. Then like a light bulb flickering on, it all fell into place.

"Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it. That was the second reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something." I sighed.

"You know your military brother gave her the idea as much as the story did." I knew he was right, if Jasper hadn't spoken of that out loud, Bella might not have been so serious about it.

"Neither side meant any harm." I ended the discussion with my simple answer.

"And when does this little truce end? First light? Or do we wait till after the fight?"

We both paused as we considered the answer.

"First light." We both whispered at the same time. Then we broke both our quiet laughter.

"Sleep well, Jacob. Enjoy the moment." I regretted the words as soon as I spoke them. His thoughts went to many places I wish they wouldn't. I groaned.

"I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry. You could leave, you know-- give us a little privacy," He teased.

"Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob?" the idea was so tempting.

"You could try. It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?" It was an appealing offer, to see who would walk away.

"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't that perfect." We both chuckled at my response.

"I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

I let it go and drowned out his thoughts. I started to hum Bella's lullaby and her body relaxed in response. I noticed that she had grown tenser in the last few minutes.

I smiled out of reaction to what had just occurred. I wondered if she would ask of this tomorrow, if she did hear everything. Now would be a good time to be able to read her mind. Just this once.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed Edward version._


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